Today my Mom told my sister and I that we were going to Ikea. She needed to buy a few quick things. My sister brought her kitty that was made out of Legos to the store. When we arrived, my sister and I shared a “#3 combo meal” (while avoiding the meatballs) and my mom drank some coffee. (To be honest, I really don’t like Ikea. Their furniture is great and all, but there are a few things that I don’t like. First of all, I can’t stand their meatballs.
(Sorry but I just can’t!!!)
If you’ve ever been in an Ikea store, then you’ve probably noticed that getting in and out is probably harder than a 93-year-old running a marathon.
Is it just me or are their Swedish carts different than our American carts? Look closely:
Don’t you see a difference in their carts and our carts here? If you look at the two carts then you’ll probably notice that the Ikea carts’ back wheels have the capability to turn in any direction!!! That’s so cool! Oh wait… Maybe not. Their carts can do anything but go forward.*
*IKEA TIP #1: When dealing with a bunk Ikea cart, try pushing it diagonal to move it forward (it really works).
Now our American carts are a totally different story! The back wheels on your typical carts at Wal-mart or Target, are not able to move except to go backwards or forwards. If you take the time to think about it, (or test these two different carts yourself) you will agree that our carts at the grocery stores are much better.
And the last thing that I don’t like about Ikea is that the maps in the building are like trying to read an ancient Egyptian scroll without any resources or help. Their so-called “shortcuts” actually make things worse and more complicated.* 🙂
*IKEA TIP #2: Instead of tiring yourself with the trouble, just ask an employee for directions (unless they’re Swedish. Then you can’t know what they’re saying).
Having all of this in our minds, we take a field trip into the vast, dense, overpopulated jungle of Ikea thinking that we are going to find the few things that we need and get out of that place in under an hour.
Anyways, we went up the escalator and I picked up a cart. I chose one of those small carts that you hang a bag on. My sister already does’t want to carry her Lego cat around and I set it in the top of the cart (where a little kid sits) and I set something else on top of it. I hear a little snap or a crack sound but don’t pay attention to it and keep walking.
We’ve been in Ikea for a loooooooooong time now and my troops are in need of a bathroom break and then we can get back on track. While the rest of my crew go, I stay back and watch the cart (it’s a very important job you know). I’m bored so I take a look at my sister’s Lego cat and notice that there’s been a malfunction in our jungle trip. The cat’s ears are missing. So I think back to where our soldier might’ve had his encounter with the Ikea store (meaning where could his ears have fallen off).
When my troops come back refreshed and ready to go, I then have the deep responsibility of telling them the sad news. “I think I know where it fell off….” I tell them. We then decide that the best thing to do is when they are at the cash register, I’ll go back to where I first heard the snap/crack noise and will investigate further to where it’s whereabouts may be (I’ll go to where I think it fell off and try to find it).
The plan is set and I’m now going up the escalator and am looking where I dropped it. I look everywhere. I can see people in the corner of my eye and they’re staring at me. I don’t care. This is an emergency for crying out loud!!!! Since I can’t find the ears to the Lego cat, I decide to go back to the cash register and just give up……………………….
And that’s when I really get lost. I can see the single escalator and can see that it doesn’t go back down stairs. I decide that I’ll try the stairs around the corner but I don’t see a way back to the front entrance. I run back upstairs to get right back where I started. I try the elevator but it doesn’t take you back downstairs. By now I’m totally freaking out and on the edge of crying and I didn’t see the giant sign that tells me how to get down-stairs. In my mind I’m getting really upset at these Swedish maps and I try to run down the escalator (and I don’t need to comment on that I’d I?) and when that doesn’t work, and people are really staring at me, I try the stairs again but still don’t find a way back to the front entrance. Maybe I was over reacting and just needed to calm down and either ask someone or really pay attention to those maps but I’d rather just blame it on the Swedish Ikea store! 😉
I’m now crying at this point and I don’t know where to go and I already feel stupid because there are still people looking at me. So I just rush to he top of the staircase in search of an employee and sure enough, I find one. I ask her how I can get back downstairs and the whole time I’m just crying in her face. I really felt sorry for that lady because she probably hasn’t dealt with a kid like me running around crying. She asks me if I have any merchandise and when I tell her that I don’t, (why would I have merchandise on me?) she tells me to just go down stairs and ask the daycare ladies to buzz me in that
giant steel trap door big door. I just said ok and I felt bad about that because she really helped me out. I liked her hair a lot and was going to tell her but I hadn’t the time. I had to get back to my troops. They probably needed me!
So I run downstairs and ask the ladies at the desk to buzz me through and they ask me, “Are you okay sweetheart?” (In a worried voice like a mom would do) and I tell them yes and that I just need through.
Captain’s log: STILL DAY ONE: Exhausted, but happy to be home.
I’ve made it back to my troops and boy, are they happy to see me! I alert my troops that the kitty’s ears were not found and that we will not be coming here ever again (like, EVER). I was just happy to make it out alive….
Well, that’s it I guess….
Until next Ikea trip!